Where Innocence Once Grew

Do you know of the place where innocence grows

Can I go back to the before 

So that my first time can actually be my first time

And not the time after the time we don’t speak about 

A week without the pit in my stomach that grows darker every time I pass a man with blue eyes

The soil beneath me is rotten

There is no growth happening here

I am trying to make a way out of a path I’ve never traveled

So that the feet that follow behind me have a chance to make it

When given the chance take it

Or else it’ll take you

Your dress will become the yes you never gave permission to

The reason you refuse to pour into me should be the reason you quench my thirst

I am empty 

Drained by the vultures who prey on unopened boxes

The jewels that made me sparkle were gone before I even knew they could shine

I am empty

Do you know the place where innocence grows

Can I go back to the before

Where Innocence Once Grew © 2021 Candice Leigh

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a tale told by two.

Why do you feel small as your gaze takes in all that awaits us?

Have you forgotten the places that bore you?

The lengths you’ve been?

The time you’ve come?

Do your bones not scream to be reunited with their origins?

Do you not feel the shiver of stardust coursing through your soul?

You have been through galaxies, around planets, dancing through the nebula–time and space are yours and ours.

Remember, fondly.

The faster we fly the more the music fades out

And the night sky replaces the music in my ears with a sound of its own

The vibrato of the wind is on a continuous loop as it whips through my hair, natural curl by natural curl

And time stands still even while we run through it

Even with no time, time travel with you is still a trip around the moon

Is it too soon to bury myself in this freedom

Am i too late

The light of the moon dances across my face

And i remember who i used to be

Still in love with who you are

An array of stars i never thought i’d see again

I can see again and the sky has never been so bright

Nothing has ever felt so right than how i feel in this very moment

My soul is open, and our vibe is potent

Here is hoping that the belt of Orion is strong enough for the both of us

candice & clairissa

masked before.

i’ve been wearing masks long before the pandemic started
i have them in different designs and a few different colors
the lipstick shade of brown and red mixed together works
really well for avoiding the are you ok questions
and if i follow the curve of my lip well enough
i forget which mask im wearing

my eyes serve as walls that barricade tears
and i tend to avoid eye contact with anyone
for meeting in the middle leaves me powerless
and just like now i wear my mask to protect not only myself
but i wear them to protect you too
who knows how my words would you hostage if i let them flow freely

and on the rare days i feel safe enough to leave my mask behind
don’t worry i make sure to stay 6 feet away
far enough that the scent of depression doesn’t make anyone curious
and if by chance i cry without my mask on
i’ll be sure to bury my head into my hands
i’ll quarantine for as long as i need to
and i’ll emerge when i feel better
and maybe by that time, masks will no longer…
who I am kidding..