Colors Not So Bright

Black was the bridge I stood on

Lost in its nothingness

Grasping desperately for blue skies

Grasping for anything really- anything that could ground me

Surround me with dirt so brown, I can bury these gray thoughts

And then water them with ambition so purple I sprout new roots

Roots so unrecognizable to the red hands stained with my blood

The same red hands that tried to drown me in yellow waters and told the world they were just killing me with kindness

Except it was minus the kind

It was my mind that paid the price for a hunger so intense it turned you green with envy

They found you in me

Unaware that though you were removed

Remnants of your not so bright colors remained in my once vibrant veins

And now when I try to love in every color I assume I’ll be declined

Stolen was the sparkle that set me apart

Leaving me colorblind

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11:11

For as long as I can remember walking from my front door to yours only took ten minutes         

Not a minute more-not a minute less                                                                                           

And I’m not sure if it was stress that made my footsteps heavier                                                           

But tonight it felt like lifetimes had passed by before I even put down my phone                                      

At 11:00 you text me and you told me you were home alone                                                        

Followed by “You’ll never see me again because I’ve been sad for far too long”                                

At 11:01 I called you and then I panicked because you didn’t pick up                                                        

I left behind my shoes, keys, and jacket because when it came to time – I didn’t have enough                                

At 11:02 my neighbor shouted and asked “Is everything okay”                                                     

Thirty seconds passed as I thought out loud, “No it’s not so please get out of my way”                

My feet dug into the pavement as I had to make up for lost time                                                   

At 11:03 I thought about life without you and I damn near lost my mind                                           

I absolutely lost my breath but I knew I couldn’t stop                                                                            

At 11:04 I questioned if I’d ever make it to your house                                                            

Thank the universe my neighbor is nosy and thank God she called the cops                                           

At 11:05 I jumped in and screamed your name and directed him to go around the block                   

My friend needs our help and that’s really all I can say                                                                           

But that’s mostly because I’m out of breath from running all this way                                                      

At 11:06 he called for an ambulance still unsure of what’s going on                                                      

Can this car go any faster, we’ll be too late, and she’ll be gone                                                           

I felt my heart sink into my stomach-sounds around me got quite blurry

At 11:07 I could see your doorstep and my screams whispered “hurry”                                                            

Please break down the door! I need to get in and save her life                                                      

At 11:08 there you sat while in your hand you held a knife                                                                  

Your eyes were still open but you were barely hanging on                                                             

Time waits for no one and I knew that we did not have long                                                          

At 11:09 I grabbed your wrists and continued to hold them tight                                                                  

I looked at you and smiled then promised that I wouldn’t lose you tonight                                            

At 11:10 I woke up screaming because I can never dream past that part                             

Remembering the night I broke my promise absolutely breaks my heart                                    

Thinking of what I could have done differently                                                                                    

From beginning to the very end                                                                                                            

At 11:11 I wished once more, that I’d never have this nightmare again

Faded Images

To be the faded image in your back pocket

How did I ever earn the privilege to be loved by you

Memories turned into keepsakes because we couldn’t let go

If you look hard enough you’ll see the cake I dropped on the floor

In the corner sat the chair that couldn’t sit anyone else

-It had weak knees-

And though the brightness has faded I still see the shine in your eyes

Look at me and I come to life 

And on the day I take my last breath I hope your face is the last I see

Add it to the list of faded images that I’ll keep with me forever

Photo Of The Day 4.4.21

Photo by Rachel Claire on Pexels.com

To be the faded image in your back pocket

How did I ever earn the privilege to be loved by you

Memories turned into keepsakes because we couldn’t let go

If you look hard enough you’ll see the cake I dropped on the floor

In the corner sat the chair that couldn’t sit anyone else

-It had weak knees-

And though the brightness has faded I still see the shine in your eyes

Look at me and I come to life 

And on the day I take my last breath I hope your face is the last I see

Add it to the list of faded images that I’ll keep with me forever

Photo Of The Day 04.01.21

Picture from Instagram profile @poetsgrid

How far must I walk before I am no longer seen

Do I walk backwards if being seen is what I want

I have traveled this lonely road so many times

My footprints have imprinted upon the concrete

Telling the trees stories I am too afraid to write down

With each step I take in the opposite direction

A leaf dances as it leaps from its resting place, applauding my bravery

Today I stopped to sit and count the times I gave myself a second chance

As the leaves that haven’t fallen yet watch and wonder if they’ll ever get their time to shine