Barbie dolls and hair bows
That’s what I dreamed it’d be
Instead innocence and security
Was ripped away from me
Young girl turned quick
Delicate skin forced thick
Hesitant to talk about it
No one else ever did
Shit like this shouldn’t happen to a kid
Where do I start
How do I begin
I trusted this guy
Because who wouldn’t trust a family friend
On my back I lay still
Hoping my silent screams
Reached the ears of anyone willing to listen
Because this can’t be right
This can’t be the way I learn about love
This can’t be how I learn about intimacy
His pants have come down
And now his penis is exposed
I am one step closer to intimacy issues
I am one step closer to never fully trusting a man
I am one step closer to the battered soul I’d soon claim to be mine
I am one step closer to depression that leaves me in the same position I was in when this all took place
On my back I lay still
Penetration came next
Is this considered sex
Am I supposed to be this scared
The sound of my suppressed tears must’ve been loud
Because I looked up and saw my mother standing there
The words “save me” fled from my closed lips
The ones on my face and in between my legs
She did her part
She showed up
Wiped her daughter front to back
But there was no conversation
Just hesitation, hugs, tears, her breast cancer, and then her death
The first of many bags I’d learn to carry alone
Barbie dolls and hair bows
That’s what I dreamed it’d be
Instead innocence and security
Was ripped away from me
Young girl turned quick
Delicate skin forced thick
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